1. What do you say to yourself every morning?
Have a break. Have a butt.

2. What do you want other people to say about you?
Which twin has the butt?

3. Someone asked you out, your answer is...
You've got questions, we've got butt.

4. How would you answer a booty call?
We do butt right.

5. How would you introduce yourself to someone you really like?
The butt of paradise.

6. To someone you dislike?
Behold the power of butt.

7. You're in a conversation and you suddenly feel the need to pee, how would you excuse yourself?
Why can't everything orange be butt?

8. Your parents ask you why you got home late, you say...
Uh-oh, better get butt...

9. You're failing a subject, you say...
Every bubble's past its butt.

10. The love of your life asks you to marry him/her, what do you say?
Go on, get your butt out.

11. Your bf/gf is breaking up with you, you tell him/her...
Pride of the butt for over a hundred years.

12. Someone told you you're a jerk, you tell them...
Let the butt begin.

13. What are the best words to describe you?
Stop. Go. Butt.
((woww thats actually words lmfao))

14. If you're going to have a movie about your life, the title is...
A different kind of company. A different kind of butt.

15. Your last words before you die...
It takes a tough man to make a tender butt.

16. Your message to a special someone..
I wish I were a butt weiner.

17. Title of this post will be..
Wouldn't you like to be a butt too?



LMFAO THIS WAS HILARIOUSLY FUNN~~
I TAG YOUU

oh god i'm retarded lol im listening to 'yeah' by usher right now.
im just that cool

so i broke up with trey
because i just didnt like him anymore
and you shouldn't date someone if you dont like them, right?
because that would be a joe woodard thing to do

haha yeah thats what joe did to me
and i was not happy about it

soooo yeah im single again
and i dont rly care that much
maybe a little
but oh well

trey wasnt sad tho
he was kinda pissed
and now hes acting like a total douchebag
which gives me further reasons to be happy that i broke up with him
go me

im coming back to the island at christmastime and im pretty stoked because then i get to go to peru with my grade and the 10th graders
which also makes my life better
but im gonna feel sorta bad for leavin my mom cuz im havin a pretty decent time out here
but i miss my island amigos

jesus christ its cold as fuck here
and im super sick
im like coughing my guts out
its lovely...

umm what else is ther to say? i like someone else now and yeah im pretty much over treyyy so thats good
he had moobies anyways
..whoa who said that? definitely not alexa...never! hahaha

okay well yeah im going back to facebook because im a facebook hoar
and drew needs to get a facebook
ASAP!

kk ilu vurr much my lovelyy~~
-Alexa

Wow, tonight was awesome! So was last night! But tonight was wayy better.
Wait wait wait. Let me fill you in.
Last night was the homecoming football game, tonight was the homecoming dance.
That's better.
Okay so last night the Lynx (our team) played the Comets (from Charles City) and unfortunately lost.
But that's not the point, they gave it their all and we love them~
Oh, and before the game was..wait for it...wait...THE HOMECOMING PARADE!! Woooooo!
I got to be in the bed of the truck pulling the float, unlike everyone else who had to walk (except the other people in the bed of the truck which was three other girls and this like 10 year old kid and the "zombies" that got to be on the float instead of walking by it).
So yeah I was pretty much VIP. Suck on that. Haha.
Okay so that was Friday.
Today is Saturday. ToDAY sucked, but toNIGHT was awesome. I had to do chores all fucking day. Ughhh. But then around 6:00pm I got to start getting ready for homecoming. I put on my purdy dress and did my makeup. Trey got to the house a little early but whatever...I didn't get to do my hair. Lame.
He gave me a pretty flower corsage thinger and i put it on my wrist. It was sweet of him. And then he had a matching one that he pinned to his shirt. Well actually I guess I technically was supposed to but I couldn't so Mark (my mom's boyfriend) tried and it didn't work for him either so Trey's mom did it haha.
I didn't want to stab him, I'm sorry!! I couldn't do it, I would've felt bad if I poked him...lol.
Okay okay, so we went to my friend Katie's house where she and her boyfriend/homecoming date Adam were waiting. Katie is friends with me because we are both fish in the school play, and Adam and Trey are friends for god knows why haha just because they are.
So then we went to a Chinese resturaunt called Chuong Garden (pronounced Chung Garden) and we had dinner (known in Iowa as "supper" I don't know why...) and it was good. I had a hot and sour soup.
Yummm.
And a Dr.Pepper.
I think I'm just writing this so I never forget it, maybe not even for your benefit haha.
Only Drew reads my journals anyways.
Whatevzz.
So then we had some time to kill so we drove around randomly with Katie's parents til like 8:45pm. The dance started at 9pm and ended at midnight.
Then, as we were in line, it came to my attention that I need to have a student ID or whatever to get into dances which of course I didn't have one...because I'm retarded like that.
But I got in anyways.
~'Cause I got friends in all the right places~ haha good song.
So then I got in and Trey and I got in line and got our picture taken.
Oh did I mention that Trey paid for dinner, my admission, and the photos?
He's amazing. I don't understand it.
Okay and then we took our picture and it went pretty well I think, except my face twitched on the second shot so I hope the first one was ok...lol.
Then, we actually went into the dance.
And danced.
Wooo.
It was super fun, I had a fantastic experience I mean like wow!!
Ok, then finally the dance ended and Mark picked me up and gave Trey a ride home.
And it was good.
Yeah I totally skipped all the romantic/sexy moments just so you didn't feel uncomfortable. You're welcome.
Okay yeah that was about it. It was SUPER FUN.
Like best night ever no lie.
Okay love you guyzz...whoever reads these journals
*coughdrewcough* like really I mean if someone else reads these journals, comment cuz I'm almost positive that nobody else cares haha.
Kay byee!!
-Lexie aka Alexa aka your mother

Name: Alexa Jobe
Age: 13 years
Month of birth: February
Any Siblings?: Yes, a 20 year old half-sister named Chantel
Parents still married? Nope
Occupation: High school student
Do you like your job? School? No way.
Any pets? Yes, a dog, 6 horses, a cat, and a lovely little fishie named Ferdinand
Hair color: black/dark brown
Eye color: brown
Shoe size: 8.5
Any Tattoos? Nope
Any Piercings? Each ear is pierced twice
Current mood: Slightly bored, tired, and dreading homework.
Current clothing: black polka dot shirt with white tank top underneath, black and white polka dot layered mini skirt, black leggings, and white socks. (today was black and white day for spirit week)
What are you listening to? Brown Eyes - Lady Gaga and now I Like It Rough - Lady Gaga
Who did you last speak with on the phone? Trey last night.
What do you currently smell like? Victoria's Secret "Pink"

Last....

Movie you watched: The Eye OR the gay video we watched in Science class about earthquakes in LA
Magazine you looked at: Ooh...can't remember. Let's say Seventeen.
Thing you ate: Orange popsicle at lunchtime OR the gum in my mouth
Book you read: Black Like Me
T.v. show you watched: Something on the history channel w my mom
Time you cried: Don't remember exactly but sometime in the past week. I cry lots.
Took a shower: This morning before school.
Got a real letter (a.k.a Snail Mail): Over the summer.
Ate at a restaurant (not fast food): I went to Pickles Pub in Kamrar with my friend Natalee and her family on Saturday.
CD you bought: Swan Songs - Hollywood Undead (off iTunes)

What is/was....

The best thing to happen to you today? Telling Trey he was insanely attractive and seeing him smile the way he did.
Your most prized possession: Buddy Bear aka an awesome stuffy I have
Your first vehicle: Don't have one yet.
Your current vehicle: Don't have one.
Your favorite quote: "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." Dr. Seuss
You bedtime (on average): 10:30 to 11:00pm
Your best trait/characteristic: Spontaneity! Loving to have fun and laugh!! heee
Your worst trait/characteristic: Bossiness/anger

Do You....

Store things under your bed: Only when I don't want mom to see 'em!
Daydream: Sometimes
Have a computer at home: Yeah my laptop and the desktop in the other room.
Live in the city, suburbs or country: Country
Live in a home, apartment, duples or mobile home: Home
Own a cell phone: Yessum
Have a good luck charm: Not that I can think of.
Collect anything: Rings, friends, and songs for my iPod!
Attend high school or college: High school at Webster City High School GO LYNX!
Make good grades: Unfortunately not at the moment.

Have You Ever....

Had a surgery? Yes, on my ears.
Had teeth pulled? Nope
Broke the law intentionally? Yes
Ran away from home? No
Broke a bone? No
Cheated on a test/exam? Yes
Had a friend pass away? No
Been issued a citation/traffic ticket? No
Been in an auto accident? Yes, my mom hit a deer when I was like under a year old. I don't remember it. Nobody got hurt. No biggie.
Lied to someone? Yes, I do it a lot more often than I should...
Been lied to? Yepp.

Your Favorite....

Place to be: With friends laughin and lovin life
Place to visit: Las Vegas. At least of places I've been.
Place to chill: In a car, with my friend(s) driving.
Non-Alcoholic drink: Totally depends on my mood but root beer, strawberry lemonade, or something else I can't think of haha.
Alcoholic drink: Caribou Lou
Type of food: Fast food haha
Meal/Food dish: Idk I like food.
Dessert: Cheesecake!!
Shampoo & Conditioner: Biolage
Toothpaste: I don't know how the hell should I know that? haha
Salad dressing: Italian I suppose OR Greek goddess
Ice cream: Rocky road
Fast food establishment: Taco bell OR Burger King depends on my mood
Color: Yellow, green, purple, orange or pink.. maybe blue sometimes too. I love colors I dont know hah!
Season: Summerrr
Holiday: Halloween or Christmas
Perfume/Cologne: Most of Victoria's Secret's "Beauty Rush" line
Video Game: No idea maybe Halo lol
T.V. show: Spongebob DUH
Smells: Caramel apples, cotton candy, other good food, and Trey.
Article of clothing: My blue hollister shirt except I wish it didn't have holes.
Book: that's way too hard don't ask me that
Children's Book: Pat's Peculiar Pet shop or somethin like that haha
Candy: Twix PB
Car: Corvette/other sexy car

Do You Believe....

In Karma: Yes
In God: Sort of
In Heaven & Hell: Not exactly. I'm more into the reincarnation thing
That aliens exist: Maybe...not entirely sure
That ghosts exist: Yes.

Your Opinion....

On the death penalty: I don't know...
On reciting the Pledge of Allegiance in schools: Totally gay and unnecessary
On homosexuals in the military: Dude, homosexuals are people too and they can do whatever they want.
The war in the Middle East: PEACE AND LOVE!! NO WAR NO WAR NO WAR!
Schwarzeneggar...Governor or Terminator: Totally Terminator. He's not smart enough to be a Governor lol
Current gas/fuel prices: Screw gas, let's go with eco-friendly fuel! Make it cheap too! (((((:

Hey-loo there...yes, I'm directly speaking to you! You know who you are!
At least I hope you know who you are. Haha.
Soooo I'm sick.
Joy.
I have a cold or mono or something idk my mom's in Oklahoma City at some federal court trial thingerr with the U.S. Postal Service cuz a few years back she managed to break her leg really bad and they fired her because they thought she was too slow to work for them.
But all she was doing was driving.
And so that's bs.
So yeah she left me here with my sister, Chantel, and Chantel's boyfriend, Kris.
Kris is a smelly little man.
No really.
He's smelly.
He has really bad hygiene and he's gross.
And not the brightest star in the sky I might add!!
Hey I'm gonna call DREWWW!!
I hope she answers.
It's ringing.
Still.
Umm...Answer dammit!
Haha. Well anyways while I wait for her to not answer because I know she wont.
Theres the message machine.
I'm gonna leave a message.
And right now I am typing what I am saying on the phone.
LALALALALALA.
Sooo yeah.
I just had an airhead and it was delicious.
Cherry flavored.
YUMM~~~
I LOVE EVERYBODY!
Okay I ran out of things to say so I'm making Drew listen to 30 days by Nevershoutnever.
So how is life for everyone else?
Mine's crappy because I'm sick.
And my mom broke her arm.
Which sucks.
Luckily she's not here because I imagine she's pretty pissed off.
She is always pissed about something haha.
Ummm yeah that's pretty much it.
Oh and Trey and I are still together.
13 days haha.
I feel like crap.
Hahaha speak of crap there are these little butthole kids on my bus ride home and I said crap in front of them and they were like "BUS DRIVERRR SHE SAID A BAD WORD!!"
And I used the words of a good Professor. If you don't shut up I will "punch you so hard your face turns into a vagina!"
And they looked scared.
I'm done with Drew's message now.
It was ike 6 minutes long haaa
Why do I say this anyways??! Drew is like the only person that reads my journals...
LOVE YOU DREW!
I am so frickin bored it's not even funny this is gay on a weenis stick.
Woah I just made that up.
Genius!!
Okay well I can't think of ANYTHING to say...
Ask me lots of questions that we can lengthy discussions about!!
Oh btw I love Hollywood Undead!
Random but I dooo~~
K BAI BITCHES
~lexielouwho
(aka the pimpest gangsta you know)
P.S. My mood is most definitely sick, not sweet but my computer's being a DOUCHEBAG.
>:V
K bai for realz.